I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
