can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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