I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video