She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.