Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
