i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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