her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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