I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
