You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize