i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we made out on top of his cat.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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