if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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