how can u be prego again
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
