Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
