Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
