Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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