...so i touched it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
