Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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