this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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