I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
