The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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