No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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