it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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