i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
