i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
