I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
