Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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