Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
