Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
