did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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