it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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