Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wish my penis had a tongue
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize