tell your sister to shave her snatch
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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