apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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