I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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