Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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