We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
