she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
