U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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