I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize