I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
