Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
