Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
