just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
