Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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