she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
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I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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