if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is classic penis vs brain.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
