my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
