that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
