Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Randomize
