I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
