I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
