I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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