If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
