Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
