We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
