Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
