If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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