i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
