If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
