Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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